For many people like me, who’ve been through life altering changes, you can look back at old photos and not even recognize yourself. In truth, more often than not, it’s not only your physical appearance that has changed drastically but your day to day life.
When people used to run into me around town they’d say the standard, “how are you?” These days people don’t ask me how I am. They merely say, ” I know you’re doing great! Just how a-mazing is your life?” That my friends, is a MAJOR accomplishment. Because if you saw my old pictures not only would you barely recognize me but you wouldn’t recognize my LIFE. Hell…I don’t recognize MY own life!
You know what the single biggest difference in my life is? Not the 85 pound weight loss. Not my much improved health. Not the new business. Not my kids grown and moving/moved out. The single biggest difference in my life is that I get to wake up to and come home to a person who thinks of me as their “happily ever after” and IT IS amazing.
Now, I’ll preface this with my ex-husband and I are still friends. We’re family. But if I’m honest, I’ll tell you that he was painfully miserable being married to me for the entirety of our 25+ year marriage and…he let me know it almost every day in both words and actions. (I’ve never been a very good listener. :/ ) Deeply scaring to ones self-worth. It took me all of 25 years to come to grips with the truth that he never really loved me. Sure, he “loved” me and still does…but like family. Not a wife. For those of you who married their soul mates, love-of-their-lives the first time around…YAY for you!! My parents were those people and I am so immensely happy for you…sincerely. For some couples, they are equally miserable together. Yet others who are happy being buddies and that’s enough. Then there are those like me…
Those who remained in love with their spouse and in deep denial. Those who think that it’s their job to make them happy. Those who think that if they do the right things, live in the right house, have the right job, make the right amount of money, was thinner, enjoyed their hobbies, was loved by their family, was the right kind of mother, cooked more, nagged less…ANYTHING…they will finally be happy with you and be able to show you the love you so desperately crave THEY give you.
Until one day my Dad died unexpectedly…I was reminded life was too short…and I gathered up the courage to set us BOTH free.
Today I’m happy to report that my ex-husband is happily remarried to his WIFE. Today I’m even HAPPIER to report that I am blissfully, over the moon happily remarried…and I am LOVED. How do I know this?
Because he lets me know in both words and actions…every single day.
Sister…you deserve that too.
~ Nancy xo
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